Also, there was a bug in my apartment that was beautiful and had wings and it was blue and stunning and I was trying to catch it. The feeling is that it belonged to me in some way, like a pet, and it escaped. Then Oliver Spoon leapt from my balcony and I was sure he was dead.

Why can't I let go of things? What's the deal with that? I am going to call that therapist NOW.

Ok I left her a message. I'm exceedingly frustrated. I just feel so compromised. Whenever I feel the slightest inkling that I have to prove to someone I'm worth something then I get on this hell-bent journey down crap self esteem road. When really I should think "hey, you don't get it do ya. Then BYEEEEE fucker."

BUT I DON'T DO THAT. WHY DON'T I DO THAT?

Wrong in the head that's why.