I have a difficult, strained, love-hate relationship with food. I love to eat it, I hate it for making me want to eat it, I hate myself for eating it. I guess it's more of a love-hate-hate relationship.

The addiction to food is, though far less harmful, more difficult to kick than an addiction to drugs or alcohol. The trouble is that you don't need drugs or alcohol to live. Food, however, is an essential part of life. You can't live without it. You can try, for a short period of time, but you won't last.

So the trick is to change my attitude toward what food is for. Fuel, right? Not for tasting good, not for filling the hole left by emotions, not for drowning sorrows. Chocolate, no matter how psychologically helpful, is not useful fuel. Neither are cake, frappucinos or pizza.

I've tried for so many years to change my diet. Change how I eat. But I still haven't changed my attitude toward food. It's the first thing I turn to for a treat. It's the first thing I turn to for comfort when I'm feeling blue.

When I can't think of something to eat I think, oh well, it's just for tonight, and I eat something full of calories, fat, totally lacking in nutrition and really difficult to digest, like Chinese take out or something.

It's a matter of really paying attention. Being mindful. Really thinking about what you are putting in your body and why. Really asking yourself, REALLY, why you want to eat what you are about to eat, and if you really need to eat it. Not want to, but need to.

The answer to that is going to be yes to some things you probably don't need to eat, really, but if it stops you even 50% of the time, that's 50% less crap that you're eating.

My problem is not potato chips. My problem is too many fatty choices, too much cheese, not eating enough and then eating too much to compensate. My problem is a treat here and there is not a treat anymore when it's every day.

Food is fuel, not your friend.