I burst into tears (no one saw) in class today at the ideas of Kierkegaard - the thing that makes us unique on earth is that we're going to die, and we know we're going to die.

As you know, I'm all too aware of this fact.

I have been feeling rather pointless lately too. So now I just have all these thoughts roiling around in my head that are really rather dangerous.

All that stuff that we convince ourselves we have to live for, it sometimes can really seem pointless. Maybe philosophy and other things are just ways to distract ourselves from the inevitable, and make it so that we can exist in our daily lives, because if we at least BELIEVE we have a purpose and a point, then we won't fall into despair.

Well, guess where I went today.

Despairsville. I think they must have given me a key to the town.

Also, the gaffer's script didn't get picked. I feel terrible about it because he was basically placing his whole purpose for being here and losing his long term relationship and all that stuff upon this script. Now he's bummed and he's shutting me out and I am once again helpless and undervalued.

But it's not about me. I just make it that way.