I guess that's supposed to mean one thing, but it means a whole bunch of things to me.

The gardener was here this morning. I will have a pretty garden soon.

I was taken by surprise before I went out last night. Tromley called from a number I didn't recognize so I answered the phone. I was forced to engage in conversation with him because I just can't be the person to say "Fuck you, fuck off" no matter how badly I want to. My manners are just too good. He wanted to know if we were ok. I said no, we're not. That I still wasn't interested in a friendship with him, that I was happy with the way things had been lately, not seeing him at all, or talking to him. I can be civil, and we have mutual friends, so I can be friendly but that's as far as it goes.

I cried after I hung up the phone. I just wasn't prepared for him and the friendly conversation.

I had a good St. Patrick's, though. I was supposed to hang with Howarth, but it kinda fell through because we were both sorta sad and we couldn't agree on where to go. So I was going to go home, but I decided to check out Barney's first, which is where I wanted to go originally. My troublemaker was there working, and I thought "what the heck" and flirted rather well. He bought me a drink and a shot and made me giggle. He's a physics nerd, turns out. I'm a latin nerd. Turns out he likes those.

Got a hug n cheek kiss and a sorta pseudo bum squeeze in the hug. Fellow Irish. It's one of those lovely crushes that will never be fruitful in the way I like, so I content to be chummy and pally and it's all ok. Innocent-like.

Commando. He's Trouble with a capital T.

Judy will be suffering tonight. She's suffering.