Sunday, Mar. 20, 2005 - 11:50 p.m.
bellyfull

Tonight I'm filled with some sort of inexpressable rage. Is that even a word? It is now.

I am angry at the way things unfolded emotionally. I'm angry because none of the people I loved really loved me back. I'm angry because I was told I'm not partner material, and then he married someone who was. I'm angry because he doesn't see why it's so wrong for him to want to be friends with me.

I'm angry because I can't communicate at all with the one guy who's been sweet to me in the last three years. I'm angry because he has fallen asleep and I cannot.

I'm angry because right now I can't be in my bed without having to touch him, because he's in the middle, fast asleep.

I'm angry because I can't stop eating. I'm angry because my cats are fighting and it smells like pee in here. I'm angry because for some stupid reason, Norbert went INTO the litter box head first, aimed his ass OUT of the litter box and peed on the carpet. He's getting old.

I'm angry because I can't stay angry long enough to effect any change. I'm angry because I can't express my anger at the source of it because I'm "too nice".

If he snores, he's getting on the bus. I don't care if it's 3AM.


ne gallum quidem...

old fish - red fish? blue fish? - new fish