Sucks. Made me sad. Feel like I lost yet another piece of him, of what he was.

Speaking of the Gaffer, he has not called me. I have not spoken to him since last Monday. A week ago yesterday. He put partying before me in order of importance, and it seems to have extended longer than that. I feel pretty dissed. Considering he had made such a big deal about calling me so that I wouldn't think he was an asshole. I said call me because you want to, not because you're afraid I'll think you're an asshole. I guess he never really wanted to.

Also saw a photo of Jackrabbit today that reminded me of how much I used to feel for him too. I guess it's just a reminder then that I will feel strongly about someone else one day, once again.

This time around has been particularly bad.

Since this time around I was me, I wasn't trying, I wasn't pretending, I had nothing to prove, I had no agenda, no point to make. I just liked him, a lot. And I was 100% me, I wasn't afraid, I wasn't embarrassed, I wasn't inhibited. And even then it wasn't enough to break through someone else's baggage. This time, anyway.

Men just don't feel strongly about me. Or at least, if they do, I never know about it. I've never been pursued, maybe because I've always been available?

I need to eat something, but I don't feel like eating. I really could use some soup. No, no soup and juice fairy came by. BOOOOOOO.

I'm going to have to invent something.

mushrooms and green pepper?