I just ate a whole pile of crack cheese, also known as that swill made by Tostitos that is salsa and cheese mixed together. It's like a carcrash, it's nasty but you can't stop with it.

My mum is on her way here to have coffee with me. Haven't seen her in a while, that should be good. I also need to buy tickets to go see Stars at the Commodore. Great band.

I saw the Weatherman with Nicholas Cage last night. It was a surprisingly fantastic film, I really liked it. The acting was simple, the writing was simple and clever, had some fantastic shots. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I had a date on Friday night. Went ok. He was nice enough, a little older than I'm used to, at 40. That's not old, by the way, just older than what I usually date. So don't get all ageist on me.

He tried to kiss me. He swooped. I dodged. Actually, he swooped twice. I dodged both times. I just didn't want to because it sets a precident, and I don't know if I like him that much and he'll expect more kissing the next time I see him if I kiss him this time and so I just didn't. I don't really want to kiss anyone, frankly.

I haven't heard from the Gaffer in two days, when, two days ago, we were meant to watch the rest of Star Wars. I just keep asking for more punishment. Really, this is getting ridiculous. I also left three of my Edward Gorey books at his place. Who knows when I'll see those now, since who knows when I'll see him.

I suppose it's a clear message just how important I am to him. Not very. But I guess I knew that already. I suppose because I value myself, I expect he'd value me just the same, but as I said the other day in a cryptic way, he is someone whose life does not require me in it. He doesn't need me, his life would be the same either way. I suppose it would be better for him without me, since I wouldn't be around to make him feel guilty for being a selfish ass.

I kept making excuses for him - he had a bad break up, he needs to be selfish for a while. But there's selfish, and then there's SELFISH. Being selfish for healing reasons does not include telling people you'll call them and then not calling them, forgetting about them, standing them up, purposely excluding them.

He lost the best parts of him in the crash of that relationship, and that's not her fault, it's his.

In other news: MITERM MANIA!!!! Excellent. Someone hit me with a truck this evening, please.

Ghosty, don't read the next part. I know you hate it.

"What kind of love is this that keeps me hanging on despite everything it's doing to me? What is this love that keeps me coming back for more when it will only mean misery?" - Madam Sarah McLachlan.