Only that.

That's all anyone wants, and oddly I do not love making new friends anymore.

I've mostly made the friends I need in my life. I have a zillion acquaintances. I know so many people, but if they all disappeared one day, I wouldn't really notice. Not for a while. And I don't know how sad I'd actually be.

I know that sounds awful, but it's true. I would notice if my dearest friends were gone. And there are people on diaryland who, when they don't update for a long time, I miss them.

It's like a fear as well. I am afraid if I invest too much in someone, they'll go. Because everyone EVERYONE everyone in my life that I have invested anything in has gone away.

Hence the abandonment thing, I suppose. Whatever the case, I'm pretty much through. If someone walked into me and we were all sparks and bingo, then maybe I'll let my guard down.

I just can't anymore, it's too much trouble, too much disappointment, too much pain and frustration.

So instead, I'm going to write a sci-fi short story for class. Funtimes.