GOOOOOOD.

I have an exam in two days, that I really should be working on now, but I'm not. Instead, I made lasagna last night and fed six people including myself. I'm a goood cooook, and I think I'll have some for lunch today.

I find myself not looking forward to anything. Really. I guess I'm looking forward to school starting, because then I'll be too busy to remember that I'm feeling so bad.

I'm going on a snowboarding trip this weekend, and I don't care. Christmas is coming and I don't care. I've done no shopping. I took next week off work, and I don't care.

I just get little bits of news, little thing after little thing that shuts me down bit by bit, in equal parts.

People sending me songs that moved them to tears, and the tears they shed are for someone else, and that song they sent, I could have written for them. Why is it that these people can feel so much for so many other people and when they're supposed to feel something for me they are brick walls on which I bang my head till I bleed?

Why do I feel like I'm not getting through to anyone?