I manage to go away for the weekend, and every time I got in the car, and spent time thinking, I got upset. I only ever really argue with him in the car these days. It seems.

Anyway, it's always arguments in circles and when we're done, we're always back at the same place again. We're friends.

We're both right, we're both wrong, and there ain't a damn thing to be done about it. It's just a mess.

And I don't know what to do. Do I value his friendship enough to 'settle' for that or will it always torture me? How am I going to take it if, on the off chance, he happens to date someone else? What am I going to do? I've thought about this enough today. I've already had my spazz about it, and now I'm just tired, worn out, sad, and left alone.

The weekend, though, was fantastic, and we had SO SO SO much fun. There was no snow on the mountain from midstation down, but we still had a wicked time. Yesterday was a little crusty/icy, but today we went up Whistler side onto the Harmony Chair and there was TONS of stuff up there. It was fantastic. Powder, oh and a few rocks. My board has a couple of wee battle scars to show for it.

On the whole, a way fun weekend with a couple of little hiccups.

I just don't know what to do. I'm really at some kind of impass and I feel totally and utterly confused. I don't know how to proceed. For now, we just keep on keepin on.