I don't know quite how to approach this. I don't know if what I'm being told is true, or if there is something else that is true behind what I'm being told.

Now I question the motivations for this friendship (on his side, not mine) and I question all the things I've understood as true from day one. This is not the first time I've questioned these things.

He has no photos of me in his house. He has them of his fiancee, of course. He has them of the woman he cheated on his fiancee with, years ago, and is now friends with. But no photos of me, a person he claimed/claims to love. He doesn't TAKE photos of me. I don't know why that strikes me as odd. But it does.

It's just a cover for all the other things that strike me as odd. Like all the cold phone conversations. The way he acts so differently when the other girl is over. I don't know what to do, really. How to take in all of this without calling him a liar, or selfish, and manipulative, and someone who's bullshat me all along. Because I don't want to believe that's true.

I hope it's not and I wish it won't be. I just don't think I trust anymore.