I have the worst headache right now. My head is aching and pounding at the same time. Is that possible?

Reason vs. Emotion.

The oldest battle. Back in the day it was believed that Men ruled Reason-town and Women ruled Emotion-ville. And neither could find their way to the other side to save their one-track lives.

Now, it's a fair mix between the two, I think. Although some of that old association still exists.

Here's something retroactive - de-evolving, I'm sure I'll get hate mail for this.

I wish I was only emotion and no reason. Or all reason and no emotion. I don't like this mixing the camps.

I feel. I feel incredibly strongly, about pretty much everything. I am powerful, emotionally. So when I hurt, I hurt. When I want to give love and affection, I want to give love and affection. I want to be true to how I feel.

But reason gets in the way. Reason says to me, NO! Don't hang out with him, because you must make him see how important you are to him by not being around so that he has an opportunity to miss you. NO!! Do not disappear, he will forget about you. NO! Don't love him, he's going to hurt you. NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Similarly, if I was all reason and no emotion, I know what I would do. I would say, FUCK THAT NOISE, and walk away. Say goodbye. On to something else. Remove the thing from your life that doesn't make it better.

But he does make it better in so many ways. He just can't give me enough because he's afraid and he isn't ready. And now, I feel like maybe it'll never be enough. He said he couldn't help feeling we were doomed, and then took it back because he didn't mean it and felt awful saying it. But now that it's been said, I can't help but wonder.

So now I become confused about what I am doing, and what I should do with what I feel and how I should let myself feel etc etc, and it's all so much noise in my head that it feels like it's going to explode.

Like right now.

Make it shut up, please.