10 Assertions against Gay Marriage. With bonus sarcasm!

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behaviour. People may even wish to marry their pets! Because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn�t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can�t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears� 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn�t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren�t full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That�s why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That�s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven�t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans

I would like to add that I'm proud Canada has accepted gay marriage. I am happy to see several of my friends able to recognize their relationships in the same way straight people can. It's always irked me that people might consider love between gay people as something less than the real thing. That they could not possibly have REAL love, they're gay. You know, it's PEOPLE that we love. And if you love someone with the same equipment that you have, that's great. Of all people, I know how hard it is to find someone you love who loves you back just as much and that is no less important than anyone else's love.

I also agree with number 5. Being straight does not mean you value marriage and that it means more. Frankly, in my experience, marriage means shit all half of the time, and it's not worth the $25,000 bux you blew on the party. If you have someone you love, and you mean it, then allowing marriage for everyone who's got that can only strengthen the 'institution'. Right now it's in the toilet, quite frankly and no longer really represents real love.

Also: technically, marriage was a business contract, it was not about love, or anything else. It was to bind families together financially, exchange property (including the woman in that statement) and ensure that the man doesn't fuck off leaving behind a house full of children.

Since marriage no longer prevents people from fucking off, isn't really about political ties or the exchange of property, we decided to make it about love, which is EVEN WORSE, frankly. It hurts so much more now.

Anyway, marriage was bastardized a long time ago when we threw love into the equation, and now it's used for all kinds of crap.

So I say if you MEAN IT! DO IT!! Because dog knows that most people don't. J-Lo anyone?