The funny part is, I have all this stuff to do and here I am updating my blog.

Some random stuff - I want this tan to fade. I have some tan left over from the summer and it's not particularly nice, it's just there, and I want my pale pale skin to come back. I like the winter pales.

I had my first session with the new therapist today. It's pretty interesting, this time around it's cognitive behavioral so it's much more analytical and not so flaky. Also, this time, it's the psychology student AND the supervisor in the room. So I have a professor who has been in the field for 30 years or more, AND a young fresh mind as well. Two for less than the price of one, quite frankly. So I think this will be good.

It's nice to be alone for now, though I'm starting to miss companionship again, and I know that fundamentally I'm not through with my feelings for Cameron because I was at work yesterday, and Roddy Luv mentioned that C had dropped by the box office on monday and left literally LESS than a minute before I arrived.

I was so glad I had missed him. I have to tell you. I was so glad. I do not want to see him, I do not want to see his wife, and I certainly do not want to see them together. And then, from nowhere, I suddenly felt awful and began to cry. I was already stressed from being at work, but it was just too much Cameron talk for the day. So obviously there are still feelings roiling around in here somewhere like unexorcised demons. Not necessarily love feelings, in fact, they are probably the furthest thing from love feelings, but they're there, nonetheless.

So that sucked.

I'm still so afraid.

My sunny corner: