My girlfriend says don't call him. I don't like to play games, I don't like to play the bait and wait game. I want to call and say hi and see how he's doing. But I'm not going to. Because I've learned that chasing people up doesn't make me feel any better, it actually makes me feel worse.

I felt awful last night after work. I came home and just putzed around the house, watching a movie but not really watching, and putting together my IKEA purchases.

my new IKEA ware, some of it anyway:

I just thought I mention to all of you, and to the director as well, I put the lights up with a staple gun. So there, mr director and your ex-wife.

I just needed more light in the room. I need more light around me in general. Then maybe I'll be seen? I don't understand why I'm important to so many people, yet when it comes to love, I fade into nothing, darkness, the background. I become invisible.

You can't see me, but I can see you. Very clearly.