Monday, Apr. 25, 2005 - 11:56 p.m.
epic
I had the most incredible day. I owe so much, I have so much to be thankful for. I just needed to acknowledge it.
There are days when I am ungrateful for life, and I wish to leave it, but today was a day that reminded me there are things in this weird life that are worth enduring. There are people that are worth enduring whatever it is you have to endure. People are worth it and if you wait, and hold tight, good things will eventually happen.
Granted, I am for the most part a negative person disguised as a positive one. I try very hard to stay happy, and to stay afloat. But today I didn't need to try.
Today was good.
First, my grades came in. I had two A- and three A. That's straight A. That's fantastic. I can't believe it, I thought there would be at least one B, if not two, but I managed it through working and emotional crap and family baggage and selling my home and trying to write and work on my acting craft as well. I managed it, which makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time and not wasting everyone else's time. I'm there to work, and I guess it shows?
My grandmother gave me a car today. She bought me a car. My uncle had a bird about it, but she put her foot down and insisted that she buy a car. So she sent me to buy a car.
And now, I feel ultimately guilty, and grateful all at the same time. Actually, I don't know how to feel. Her generosity is amazing, and I don't feel like I've earned it from her. It's strange being given something so expensive because I didn't pay fo rit, and somehow I don't feel I am entitled to it. Bu tI didn't say no, I couldn't say no, an dit woul dbe insulting and hurtful to reject her gift. So I chose a car.
It's a VW Jetta 1999, hunter green, and it's beautiful.
THEN, while I was out driving this new car, I parked it at a metre, and found that there was enough time left from the previous person to carry me through until the cut-off time, after which the metre is free.
Then I had mexican food for dinner.
I drove to Iona beach, got a bit of sun on the cheeks - did I mention the weather was incredible?
This day has been incredible. I feel like crying I'm so overwhelmed. I'm exhausted. I don't. I just. I don't feel real.
Thank you gramma, I hope you realize how much I appreciate all you've done for me. I have no idea how to show you how much I appreciate you. I could send you a thank you card, but it seems like a drop in the bucket of the thanks I feel.
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
THANK YOU
ne gallum quidem...
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