I am still choking and it makes the back of my throat hurt, but now I know what to do with it. I have to let it come, and when it does, it's wailing, sobbing, strangling, whining, whimpering, heaving, howling and deep.

I feel wrung out after, sick, afraid, like I'm going to vomit. I shake and sputter, and when I swallow my stomach convulses.

I stress about what I hold in here, how I'll get it all out, what health concerns it's all causing. And then I wipe my eyes, sniffle and enter my life again.