How do I get myself into this? How do I consistently find disasters and insert myself into them? Then proceed to entrench myself, cry and pine, curse the unfairness of it all, and blame myself for being inadequate.

If you have the feelings, you take the risks. And none of them have taken the risks. So none of them have had the feelings.

It's not about me, but I make it about me. Narcisssist.

I really am desperate, aren't I?