He smokes too much, he drinks too much, he smokes too much pot, things just always seem on the brink of fucked up around here. It's a little bit stressful.

I want to live alone again, I want to see Chris again.

Things are up in the air for me, I just feel in limbo. When school starts, I'll hit the ground running, but until then, it's a tossup of psychological overeating, the desire to vomit (and the refusal to do it), my clothes feeling tight, the men in my life being insane, yes all of them, friends included, the girls in my life being important to me, but at the same time, I don't seem to need them present right now, just knowing they're out there is enough.

I want to hermit up, I really do. Close my doors, keep a window open to keep out the stink, write, paint, draw, throw things out, plan to move, paint my house, I don't know what.

I can't do Christmas. I haven't sent anyone cards, I haven't bought any gifts yet, I just feel fucking up in limbo fucked up.

But Shaun of the Dead is a fucken great movie.

Watch it.

I would like to move to Sun Peaks, and snowboard for the rest of my life.

Fuck it.