Things are the way they are and you can't change them. So instead, accept them and allow yourself to be calm and ok.

So far, so good. I hope I'm not avoiding stuff more.

Things are falling into place again, in a way. With the yoga giving me something to work on, now existentialism is following suit.

In class yesterday we were talking about Sartre and how we create our own little worlds of escape to avoid the real world. But we don't just create positive happy lands to hide in, we also hide in grief to avoid the real world.

We dwell and dwell on something we've lost, rather than just dealing with the fact that it's gone and moving on. I do this exact thing, and perhaps it's time I stopped, and started dealing with the real world.

Also, I think one of my favourite points from Sartre (who stole half his stuff from Heidegger) is the notion that we can experience moments of non-being.

For example, a trivial thing:

You have lost your keys. Everywhere you look, you expect to find your keys. When your keys are not in a spot you expect to find them, your expectations are disappointed, and you experience a brief moment of the keys NOT BEING. There's a key-shaped hole in the universe in that spot where you expected the keys to be. It's a feeling of "not there".

A not so trivial thing:

When you lose a loved one, whether dead or just gone, it's more intense. You miss them. You experience their non-being. They are NOT THERE, and you experience a person shaped hole in the universe in that spot, in that moment that you wish or expect them to be there. Like when the other side of your bed is empty, and you miss them. There's a moment of NON-BEING when you roll over and put your arm there, and they are "not there".

You experience nothingness.

It's rather sad, but fascinating at the same time. Now I'm hyper aware of things that are "not there", not in a negative way, just as a point of note. I kinda like it.