I also realized that tomorrow, I have an appointment with an agent, and I have nothing prepared to read for him. I don't know what I was thinking. I don't have a monologue, I don't have anything. Shit shit shit.

I wanted to just go in and talk to him about what I want and what I want to do. I could maybe bring in some of the work I've done, but it's not great work. And there isn't much for me to show him.

I'll take in the old crap tape. That'll be the best I have to offer, and I'll offer to do a cold read for him right then and there.

I know it doesn't make for interesting reading here, going through what I am planning to do for tomorrow, but it's helping me formulate a plan. So thanks, you're helping me formulate a plan.

In other news, my little brother is graduating from high school tomorrow. From the very highschool that I graduated from eleven years ago to the day. Well, month anyway. It's at the same place, with the same teachers. I'll be proud and weirded out all at the same time. I'll take my camera.

Weird weird weird.

There are relatively few people in the computer lab today, it's a strange feeling since usually you have to wait to get a spot.

All the black screens are a bit unnerving. I've been having strange dreams lately, again. Dreams in which I am rejected profoundly and painfully.

Why am I having these? I know I have a fear of personal rejection (not professional, I've mostly grown that skin). I'm pmsing, I'm eating too much these days. I am tired too. I just want to sleep, to lie around. I was doing so well a week ago, feeling energetic and up and running, riding my bike everywhere, running every day. Now I'm just spending all my time on my ass with my laptop, and I should be writing if I'm doing that but I'm not.

Desperate for attention I guess.