That's the sort of pain it feels like, except it's 100% localized in this tiny area at the tip of my pinky.

Maybe I have a tumour.

I shouldn't joke. Just got an MSN reminding me that I was a part of someone else's life once. He had some shoes of mine. I told him to just throw them out. They're basically dead anyway, I don't think I'd wear them again. They were uncomfortable and if I recall, smelly. Yeah, just throw them out. It's easy for you to do when it's regarding me, C-boy.

Yeah, I guess I'll just be mad forever. There are some things you can't and don't want to get over. If I stay mad, I'll never let that bullshit happen to me again. Lesson learned, believe me.

As for the Director, I haven't talked to him since Monday night. I feel like he's too old for me. Like I can't be silly around him and if I am he'll just look at me like I'm insane. And then tell me I have beautiful eyes and make it about the physical again. He assured me, at one point during the second date, that it wasn't purely physical, though that was what had drawn him in the first place. He tried to assure me that he thought I was intelligent and things as well. A straight shooter. I've tried very hard with to be a straight shooter with him. I don't want any surprises, I absolutely need to maintain control.

Anyway. He didn't laugh when I told him about that crass comment Chris once said after I smelled a particularly nasty fart of his:

"That air your breathing...

was in my ass."

I nearly fell over laughing when he said that, and I thought it was visually one of the fucken funniest things ever. Just VISUALIZE that man, it's horrid.

He didn't laugh at all. Yeah, I don't think I can date someone who doesn't laugh at poo jokes. Because I laugh at poo jokes, know what I mean?

Well. Up and coming: philosophy essay that I can't even begin to imagine how to start; trying once again, this week, to reduce my weight, even just a little bit - five pounds - and maintain it; making my halloween costume - little red riding hood AFTER the wolf got her; visiting Shirley who has just adopted a little Guatemalan girl (cute!!!); more school; more work; theatre halloween party; small get together halloeen party; maintain sanity.

Big list. At least I have hedgehog slippers. I think I would otherwise be lost, no?