People are dropping out of my life faster than I can take in a breath.

So the Gaffer hasn't called me to see how I am, or make sure I'm all right or just to touch base and make actionable his verbalized desire to remain friends with me.

I'm not sure I can talk to him right now anyway, but when you make a big deal about being friends with someone, you then take action to show them you're serious. Right now, he's not serious. I've even sent a small email to him, to which he has not replied.

It's been nearly a week.

To top it off, I haven't heard from the Captain at all. Nothing. Not a word. I've sent a few emails. Got one today telling me I'm too intense for him etc etc.

You guys don't know about New York yet. We had a thing. Now he's trying to forget it ever happened and I guess write me off. Fine. But don't disguise it as you being too busy to email back when I know you check your email at least twice a day. It takes all of one minute to write something, be it brief or whatever.

I mentioned the affection he gave me in New York was lovely, and I was experiencing a bit of withdrawal. It's a lighthearted comment, an appreciative comment. He turned around and told me I'm too intense for him right now.

Whatever. So I sent him packing too. Not that he wasn't already packed and waiting for the word. I made no efforts to keep up a romantic relationship with him, but I made efforts to keep up contact. So much for that.

He was meant to be a time and place. Time and place is over, so he's gone, I guess.

The Gaff, I don't know what he was meant to be but it's a big lesson for me, as is everything, and now I need to get over it. To be friends, or not to be friends, in the longer run. That is a question indeed.