How can I make myself agreeable? How can I make myself indespensible? How can I keep it from failing THIS time?

Instead of dealing with things, I eat junk food. And I just get bigger and give myself more reasons to find about why I am once again rejected.

And I take photos of myself, to remind myself that I am real, and I'm still here, and that I haven't faded out of reality the way I've faded out of their memories.