Thursday, Jun. 29, 2006 - 3:43 p.m.
Wasted Holiday.

I was going to write something on my Myspace but I thought this was a little too personal and complain-ey.

I just discovered that I can log onto the internet in our condo by piggybacking some kind of wireless, which makes me glad I brought my wireless card, but under no circumstances will I tell my mother this.

If she knows, she will spend all day on here. The only thing keeping her from already spending all day at the internet cafe emailing men, her husband, whoever, looking up whatever, is the cost of the internet cafe.

She has spent this whole fucking trip going on and on about David, the husband that she almost divorced but not quite about five times now. All she's done is call him, argue with him, negotiate with him on the ridiculous high school terms of them getting back together etc.

It's wrecking my holiday. Normally I would be more sympathetic with someone going through a breakup and possible reconnection, but really, this has gone on for about five years now and has become ridiculous.

He is not a good man, and he's displayed that on many an occasion. She has ample reason to leave. But she loves him so she keeps allowing him to manipulate her and mess with her head.

It's not a shock where I get it from.

Anyway, we had a blowup this morning. He's going to Vegas and won't tell her what hotel he's staying in. She claims she wants to know so she can get hold of him in an emergency. Sure.

So she said that if he doesn't call her back and tell her what hotel he's staying in, she will refuse his recent beggings to get back together and move to LA where he now lives.

He wants her to sell her home here in Vancouver, give up everything, drop everything, and move there. Which I think would be the dumbest plan this side of skydiving without a parachute.

Anyway, she said, what do I think of that, or something. I, being frustrated with the constant requests for advice and opinion, (and she already knows how I feel about the whole thing) replied that I had nothing to say about it and shrugged and was rather dismissive. Then she got mad and bent and said "you're not a friend" and stomped and pouted and put her hand to her forehead like a huge drama queen and I fucking lost it.

I was like WTF!!!???? This game is ridiculous. I didn't come on this holiday to listen to her connive and scheme to get her husband back. I didn't come here to spend it listening to her fucking phone conversations with that man who SHE KNOWS is no good, but second guesses herself because he is now calling and whining and wanting her back and telling her he loves her etc, yet still not changing a single thing about the bullshit way he conducts himself.

I've had it. I'm in fucking Hawaii to relax and have fun and get a fucking tan. Not be involved in a pathetic soap opera.

It's just stupid. So I got bent, grabbed my shit and went down to the beach, leaving her crying on her bed, no doubt.

I am not insensitive. I feel bad, I felt bad. I still feel bad. When I got back to the condo, she had gone out. I wish she had more in her life than her man/men. I wish she had more to do and think about than this stuff.

This guy LIED about being in Vietnam for crying out loud. He pushes her and pushes her until she cracks and breaks up with him, then he's really mean to her, calls her a slut and that god is only on his side or some other bullshit, then sends her fucking James Blunt songs and flowers and cries on the phone and tells her he loves her and wants her back and doesn't want anyone else. Oh, he's 90% positively a cheater as well.

He's done this time and time again. She just won't learn her fucking lesson. Even a dog stops coming back to an owner that keeps kicking it.

Anyway. Now it remains to be seen what the rest of this holiday will be like. I had reservations about coming, mostly to do with money, but lots to do with how I would be getting along with my mother spending an entire week with her nonstop.

So far, not so good. She probably won't speak to me for the rest of the holiday.I hate this person I am when I'm around her. She irritates me to no end. She says stupid things constantly. She doesn't think even remotely for herself, not even for a second. It's agonizing. I can't even try to get along anymore.

She makes racist comments, she treats customer service staff like assholes. Even in the nicest restaurant with the best service in Maui, she was rude about getting a dirty fork. After they had just spend ages with her recommending drink after drink because she wanted something that wasn't too sweet.

FUCCKKKKKKK. I just want to go home. Waste of my hard earned money, frankly. I wish I hadn't come.


ne gallum quidem...

old fish - red fish? blue fish? - new fish